Bheja Fry

As someone has said correctly, humor is just about everywhere; we only need to have the sense for it! Medical practice involves, by default, interaction of us doctors with all sorts of people. Some of them are really funny in their own ways. This piece is not intended to make fun of anyone; I’m just trying to portray how situations can turn really funny without anyone in the scene trying to be a joker. Sample this conversation with a lady patient of mine who was otherwise a complete stranger:

‘Doctor, I have hurt my ankle.’

 ‘When did this happen?’

‘Umm…lemme see…ah, yes, the day my son got married!’

Oh yeah..I was in the baraat and was dancing away to ‘Sheila ki jawaani’, and so I should know the exact date of your injury.

‘Ma’am, I wouldn’t know when your son got married, so could you be more specific about the date?’ I asked politely.

‘Why,’ she said pointing at her brand new bahu who sat shyly on the opposite chair, ‘Nilesh and Reena got married as soon as we returned from America!’

And I was the travel agent who arranged for your tickets, so I should know that too.

Luckily for me, Reena sensed my growing discomfort and intervened with answers that made sense.

Another obsession with some patients, mostly those from the rural areas, is regarding the dietary advice. And although very few medical conditions warrant limiting citrus food in diet, there is an inexplicable phobia for sour foods among the populace. In early days of my orthopedic practice, where the patients are otherwise medically healthy, I was vehemently against severe dietary restrictions, except when the co-existing conditions warranted, like in diabetes, hypertension, or gout.  

The conversation in those days used to go somewhat like this:

‘…And what should I eat doctor?’

‘You can eat your regular food.’

‘You mean except sour foods, right, doctor?’  

‘Wrong, you can eat everything, including sour foods.’

The patient would then look at me as if I’d secured my medicine degree by fraudulent means, and fly out of my clinic, never to come back. Slowly, I mended my ways, only to save my practice, and made it a point to strictly warn patients, wrongly of course, against eating anything sour lest they should aggravate their conditions. But that did not bring end to my woes either.

More recent conversations go somewhat like this:

‘…And what should I eat doctor?’

‘Everything except sour foods.’

‘But I can surely add some lime juice in my dal, doctor? And what about tomatoes, doctor? And buttermilk? I will surely not touch tamarind.’

How about my bheja fry?