Beep, Beep &%@# !

Whenever we’re watching a movie, I let my wife and daughter get the popcorn during the interval. I stick to my seat primarily out of laziness, but then, off late, I have started enjoying the trailers they run during the break. I had discovered my current all time favourite ‘Chak De India’ during one such interval- a pearl that I’d have otherwise missed because of my decade-long dislike for SRK movies (Not that I made up with SRK after CDI). The last time we were in the theatres for Bheja Fry-2, my bheja was so fried by the interval that I almost volunteered to get the colas but then my laziness got better of me. As I sat watching people around me fiddle with their mobiles, the theatre started playing the promo of ‘Delhi Belly’. Aamir Khan, the producer, looking funny in Charles Bronson moustache, actually warned the audience that the forthcoming flick was full of gaalis, and that it was not fit for children and other ‘boring’ and ‘pakaau’ kind of people. Excuse me? In fact Aamir was addressing the youngsters saying, ‘Be sure to watch this one, only not with your parents around’. Then the promo trailer played its trump-card number, ‘Bhaag, Bhaag DK Bose, DK Bose, Bhaag Bhaag! What the?? The film would be surely released with an 'A' certificate, but what about the children watching the promo? The next day I saw the same promo on TV !!

I remember it all started with Shekhar Kapoor making Seema Biswas shout in the opening scene of ‘Bandit Queen’, ‘Main hoon Phoolan Devi, ##@$%%$!!’ Since then, Bollywood hasn’t looked back- Omkara, No one killed Jessica, Kaminey, Ishqiya, Gangajal- there are so many flicks these days that have their dialogues garnished with blatant expletives- all allegedly for the sake of authenticity. Some directors hide bad words with beeps but then others are much bolder. The beeps don’t help much either because the audience then spends time thinking which gaali it was. Some branded multiplexes strictly don’t allow children for 'A' certified movies, but there are several others who do allow. As such there is no point of such exercise because who’ll censor the DVDs and the downloads? When our daughter was too young, we took her along for all movies as she wasn't expected to understand anything and she too only looked forward to the popcorn and the colas, and to eventually spilling both items on us. But once, when she was seven years old, she asked what *&^%$ meant. Since then I started choosing our movies carefully. Now-a-days it is getting more and more difficult to choose a movie to watch as a family- And most such flicks are downright boring (I did tell you about Bheja fry-2). I wish they make cleaner movies with audible language.