Naughty after forty?

There are many woes of being over forty. When I was in my mid-thirties, I kept hearing of the adage ‘Naughty after Forty’ and therefore had actually looked forward to that milestone. But here I was, all of 44, and I never got my chance to be naughty, and all hopes crashed when women as old as 34 started addressing me as ‘uncle’. Devastated, I sought refuge with my best friend- My wife. She sympathized, and assured me that women were just being respectful. Could the respected be expected to be naughty? Considering that my wife could have her own vested interest in mothers of 2-3 children calling me uncle, I decided to talk to some of my friends. It was duly deduced that the culprit could be my graying, and fast-disappearing hair. Once a proud owner of a fulsome mop of flowing hair, I had painfully witnessed over the years the receding of my hair-line and the paucity in its volume. And now the gray strands added to my hairy misery. Hence came before me the question that foxes not-so-young men and women- To Dye or not to Dye. My wife immediately dismissed the idea, giving a variety of reasons against coloring of the hair- allergy, hair-fall etc, and favoring the silver strands by saying that the ‘Salt and Pepper’ look enhanced my personality. Oh, yeah? My personality incidentally looks enhanced by twenty years! After much deliberation, I decided to dye my hair and ordered my barber of many years to do it for me. Despite the risk of being detrimental to his business, he tried to deter me from the act. After an earful from me, he gave in with a sad look on his face. When he finished after 45 boring and messy minutes, I immediately knew why. In the mirror, I looked like an old Fiat car with a fresh coat of cheap paint. Out of shame I changed my barber forever. Then I waited patiently for several months as the colored portions of my hair was gradually replaced by my natural hair. A proud owner of whatever has remained of my God-given hair, these days I give my sincerest blessings to all those who address me as ‘uncle’.